The Courage to Connect

I am sure many of you have read the best selling book "Tuesdays with Morrie." If you haven't read it, it is a book about a professor who is battling ALS and knows he only has a few years to live. ALS is a debilitating disease that attacks the muscles to where you can no longer do anything for yourself… but your brain keeps functioning perfectly.

During the last years of his life, Morrie meets with an old student every Tuesday and shares life lessons with him.  One of the things that Morrie said to his student that stood out to me was "When you are in pain you can better empathize with people who are in pain."  It seems like a relatively simple quote that makes sense to people, and as a result might go unnoticed.  This quote caught my eye because it is only half of the story.

Of course you can empathize with people going through a painful time when you too are going through a painful time. What is missing in this quote is that you are truly feeling that pain.  You are crying because you don't know how things will end up and you are working through these emotions instead of suppressing them.This is what best equips you to help other people through their painful life events… because you have been there before.

Inevitably all tough times pass.  Soon you will be back on the bright side of the street.  It is important when you are back on top to be aware of, or even to look for, people going through the muck, because you are equipped to help them.

If you have made it through an incredibly traumatic or painful life event, you may have realized that not everyone can step up to the plate to recognize your pain.  Many people have a difficult time showing vulnerability in order to help others cope through this time. Some people just don't have the emotional capabilities to do so, and many others simply are not willing to do so. However, you always remember the people who were there for you when you really needed someone. You remember their courage and grace as they listened to your story and continued to check in with you to see how you were doing.  This availability to reach out means the world to you.

There are people in your life right now that may have just started going through a major life trauma or maybe just a rough patch.  You can pay it forward and be the person they remember as the one that was there for them.  Have the courage to connect.  One of my favorite mantras I learned from physiotherapist Pam Fullerton is "Comfort Zones are expanded through discomfort." 

You will be the one they hold up in love and light every time they think of you. I know it takes courage to be vulnerable enough to reach out to that person, but it is worth it. Often times they just need someone who will listen.  You may feel like you can't do anything to help, but listening is so useful and helpful. Listening is an action! You may even want to share an insight on how you got through a painful time too. I encourage you to be vulnerable, flex your courage muscle and step up to the plate to pay it forward. You won't regret it!