The Courage to Connect

I am sure many of you have read the best selling book "Tuesdays with Morrie." If you haven't read it, it is a book about a professor who is battling ALS and knows he only has a few years to live. ALS is a debilitating disease that attacks the muscles to where you can no longer do anything for yourself… but your brain keeps functioning perfectly.

During the last years of his life, Morrie meets with an old student every Tuesday and shares life lessons with him.  One of the things that Morrie said to his student that stood out to me was "When you are in pain you can better empathize with people who are in pain."  It seems like a relatively simple quote that makes sense to people, and as a result might go unnoticed.  This quote caught my eye because it is only half of the story.

Of course you can empathize with people going through a painful time when you too are going through a painful time. What is missing in this quote is that you are truly feeling that pain.  You are crying because you don't know how things will end up and you are working through these emotions instead of suppressing them.This is what best equips you to help other people through their painful life events… because you have been there before.

Inevitably all tough times pass.  Soon you will be back on the bright side of the street.  It is important when you are back on top to be aware of, or even to look for, people going through the muck, because you are equipped to help them.

If you have made it through an incredibly traumatic or painful life event, you may have realized that not everyone can step up to the plate to recognize your pain.  Many people have a difficult time showing vulnerability in order to help others cope through this time. Some people just don't have the emotional capabilities to do so, and many others simply are not willing to do so. However, you always remember the people who were there for you when you really needed someone. You remember their courage and grace as they listened to your story and continued to check in with you to see how you were doing.  This availability to reach out means the world to you.

There are people in your life right now that may have just started going through a major life trauma or maybe just a rough patch.  You can pay it forward and be the person they remember as the one that was there for them.  Have the courage to connect.  One of my favorite mantras I learned from physiotherapist Pam Fullerton is "Comfort Zones are expanded through discomfort." 

You will be the one they hold up in love and light every time they think of you. I know it takes courage to be vulnerable enough to reach out to that person, but it is worth it. Often times they just need someone who will listen.  You may feel like you can't do anything to help, but listening is so useful and helpful. Listening is an action! You may even want to share an insight on how you got through a painful time too. I encourage you to be vulnerable, flex your courage muscle and step up to the plate to pay it forward. You won't regret it!

Growth Through Adversity

Congratulations on taking control of your life. If you have clicked on this post it is likely that you are going through or have recently gone through some pretty real adversity. Life will most certainly bring you challenging times. It is during these challenging times that you have a choice.  You can choose to get angry, become depressed, shrink into a ball, and become paralyzed OR choose to use each of life's challenge as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.  You will become a wiser, whole-hearted, and more authentic person… the person you were meant to become. If you are reading this you are most likely looking to do the latter. Throughout my post I am going to talk about some ways I have found success with finding growth through adversity. Adversity is brought into your life on purpose for the your evolution. Wayne Dyer said "There is no such thing as luck or accidents in this purposeful universe."

Everyone Makes Mistakes...

You should realize everybody makes mistakes in life. Most people just don’t talk about them or make them public. Typically, you have to become very close with a person before they tell you the countless mess-ups in their past. Most people only have a very small group of people that would be willing to be vulnerable enough with them to share their worst mistakes. Even though you might know a lot of people it doesn't mean those people are going to reach out to you, expose their vulnerabilities and share their most regrettable moments to help you through this time. However, just because people aren't rushing to share their mistakes with you, it doesn't mean they don't have them or that they don't care about you. Don't get caught up in comparing your blooper reel with everyone else's highlights. This is a viscous cycle that only leads to self-pity and shame. Reach out to the people you are closest with during your most vulnerable moments, and you will see the beauty in even the harshest times… there is grace in the storm.